How To Just Be (Even When Things Are Falling Apart)

What are you thinking about right now? The next meeting? The next thing on the to-do list? All the other people who seem to need you?

Find Peace Now

What if you could find peace right now, in this moment? You are exactly where you should be. There’s no more striving, pushing, efforting, or forcing that you need to do. You are where you need to be right now.

How do I know? Because you are where you are. And there are no ‘shoulds’. ‘Shoulds’ are made up concepts we believe out of judgement about ourselves and others, and they force us out of the present moment and into the future or the past. What you ‘should’ be doing. What you ‘should’ have done. Instead look at exactly where you are and get ok with that. In this moment. In this reality.

Maybe that idea you’ve been working on needs more time or the right inspiration. Maybe you have more to learn for things to fall into place. But there’s nowhere else for you to be in this moment. Nothing else you ‘should’ be doing.

You are the right person at the right time. You are the one you’ve been waiting for. That sounds so cliche, I know, but it really is true. The person or place or thing you seek is yourself.

Be still.

Let go of the mental spinning and just BE.

To do that, take a few deep breaths. Seriously, just sit and breathe deeply. Notice the sensation of your breath on your nostrils or your lips. Notice what your hands feel like, from the inside. Close your eyes and feel them. If you couldn’t see your hands, how would you know you had them? What do they feel like? The next time you’re stressed, stop and breathe. Then think about and feel five things that are touching you. What are they? How do they feel? Can you tell the difference between those things touching you and you touching them?

This is presence. The art of just being. And it’s available to you any time you want it.

Home and happiness are inside you, not out there somewhere. Not in what other people think of you. Not in what you’ve told yourself is how you ‘should’ be. Right here, right now, right inside you. Exactly as you are. Presence gives you that stillness inside, even if just for a moment. A beautiful feeling of calm awareness.

There’s nothing you need to do. Nowhere you need to go. Anything you ‘have’ to do that feels like stress or pain is not something that would please the real you – the one on the inside, stifled by what everyone else thinks you should do or be. Stifled by other peoples’ opinions. Stifled by your own self-judgment.


Move Toward Joy

What things make you happy? Make a list. When you feel stressed, do a happy thing for a bit. Just for a minute. Go take a walk. Color a page. Draw. Dance. Sing. Run. Pick a flower. Text a friend. Just find the next best happy place and be there for a little while. Notice what it does to your mood. To your thoughts. To your body. Notice if you feel present and what that feels like.

Do you feel lighter? Happier? Freer? Follow that lightness. The dark thoughts, moods, and feelings are what cause us to suffer. Find the next best feeling instead.

What if everything that happens in your life that causes you pain is there for your highest growth and good? When we stay light about it, not sweating the small stuff, seeing our possibilities instead of our limitations, whole worlds open up to us. We start going with the flow. Allowing life to happen for us instead of to us. And life is happening for you. You just might not see it yet.

Follow the lightness, the happiness, the present-ness, the next best feeling, and things start falling into place.

Originally posted to on Mogul.

  • Breast cancer life coach, tarot reader, yoga instructor, and all-around badass.

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